aodz Journal v1.0

hey,

My name is Vikram, Currently located in Gurgaon. I am a native of Varanasi (born) but lived my whole life in Bahrain(Arabian Gulf). Did my graduation from MNREC in Computer Science and Engineering. Love to travel, an all time foodie i.e. I love to cook, mostly non-veg and love inviting friends over for parties and acquaintances. Beyond that, i trip listening to trance/classical music, exploring museums/forts/monuments, eating popcorn and watching a (old/new) good movie.

Big time internet addict, lately I have started to get past my addiction but I see a long way to go.

The point of writing this post is that I miss mom. Today was bad mostly because I am not feeling well.

It might sounds weird to some of you but its true “you tend to miss your mom/dad the most, when your life doesn’t exactly go they way you intend it to go”.

Back in childhood you were always in the shadow of your parents, they took care of you and saw to each of your wishes and demands. They helped you cross all the hurdles of life. For them it did not matter where you were STUCK

Be it the fear of exams.

• Having a bad day at school because of some Bully.
• You did something wrong and which would get you punished.
• Any kind of failure you faced in life. (life , love , money)
• Having a DULL and low day (loneliness)
• Before taking any of the significant steps in life that might change your life for good. (first day of school , choosing your major in college , having lost a job )
  

They were there when ever you required their help; this is what is called Selfless love. Its not that they help you because they want something in return, nor do they think that when you grow up you will return their favor by helping them out in the hard times.

It’s because you are their flesh and blood and they love you more than any diamond money can buy. For them you are the sole entity on whom they can dedicate their entire lives.

It’s but natural that most of us kids took our parents for granted at some point of time in our lives. That’s because u had them at your disposal and you did not know their TRUE value. “You don’t realize the value of that one penny you had, till you loose it when you wanted the penny the most.” Even I have taken my folks for granted at many a times. Basically because you thought that they were hindering your freedom. While you forgot that they were the ones who had helped you initially.

It is at times like these that you remember them,(current condition : on the bed with 102 fever and it sucks)

What all I miss about mom?

Well that’s a huge topic to talk about…. Remember the time u used to cuddle up next to her after long and tiring hrs of playing around… I miss that cuddle…when u had done something wrong she would initially give that one stare well I miss that first stare. When she prays after a bath while you play with her wet hair… I miss those droplets of water. Her voice… that sweet familiar voice which used to wake u up in the morning to get up and get ready for school I miss that voice… remember the time when she is forcefully making you eat your breakfast since you are getting late for school I miss eating food from her hands. When you come back from school tired and exhausted her taking your bag off your shoulders I miss those helping hands. While watching your favorite cartoon, she reads her magazine and not getting distracted by the cacophony you are creating, I miss her calm self. Her running her fingers through your hair while u finish your homework…. I miss that feeling. Her getting angry if you don’t sleep on time I miss that angry moments… the caring warmth of her hug when you suddenly wake up SCARED after having nightmares… I miss that warmth. And more than anything if you keep annoying her on and on, without listening to her repeated warnings… that tight slap u get to behave yourself, I miss that slap. Her feeling sorry afterwards that she slapped you... I miss that tear in her eye. The unique perfume that she normally wears…I miss that fragrance. Her talking to you and asking you how your day was…her making you a cup of coffee when u were studying late in the night. Her taking your side and saving you from the ass whipping you would get from dad for hitting the next door neighbors kid. Her explaining that your dad was tired and wanted to take rest and not play race the car with you. Her foolish attempts to play your spaceman BOB game, to cheer you up. I am sure each one of u had a point In life when you lied to your mom… her catching your lies. (I had tried my best to lie to her but she always found out I don’t know how but she did it)

Her taking extra care while packing your bags which you would take along to college. That repeated asking weather you had your tickets and if you kept the money she gave you safely. Her bursting into tears as soon as you reach the station. That look last look when your train took off and you could still see her waving at you. That first phone call u receive asking you if u reached safely. Her sending sweets or other items when ever some known friend came to visit you.

Her restlessly waiting self, for the first time u reach back home after the first year of college. Her constantly saying how thin you have become staying away from her. Her calming you down when you failed your first interview (not true for all of you… but I did miss my starting 2 companies) I miss all of these things..

i can go on and on writing about her

And today I am sitting here so far away from her working for some so called MNC. Killing away day after another. While she is at home as worried as she were the day you first saw the daylight. You might get entirely worked up with meetings and schedules and deadlines... Hell it wouldn’t be surprising that you hardly got time to think about her. But she on the other hand at every point of her life remembers you… like when ever she made your favorite dish she would call you up and ask you to come back home.

And the MOST you remember her is when you fall ill… that’s when u realize that when u were kids your mom was by your side the whole time… listening to you, comforting you…. And today I am lying in my bed down with fever and thinking about her and missing her the most. There are so many things that I shouldn’t have said to her and even more are the things that I wanted to tell her but I dint tell her… I don’t know why I kept mum while I could talk to her….

Even today I remember the silence between me and my mom after a fight… I thinking that she doesn’t understand me… but the fact was I dint look at the problem in her way... believe me when I say this… your MUM is smart she knows god damn very well what’s good for you and what’s not…

Not listening to her is your biggest mistake. I have realized this over time. Its been 6 years now living away from her and getting to meet her once a year or something like that . After entering the JOB life its even worst, the last time I went home was a year and 8 months back. Don’t make my mistakes…

By the way I love my dad equally as much!!! The most I miss about him is him being really tough with me when ever I was around but in actual he is softer than my mom.

Some of you might find these feeling kiddish some might laugh… but do ask yourself what you miss about your parents, m sure a shocking burst of emotions would run down your spine… You might be the worst person on this planet but you can count on it that there will still be 2 people who would take your side.. Not that they would support your wrong side. But try and help you out.